Don't Do This At Home

You really have to love the British press.  Even the reputable papers thrive on sensation and a puns. They also love a scantily clad woman.  The Sun has been printing pictures of a topless woman on their infamous page 3 since 1969.

It wasn't the well endowed woman that caught our eye walking by the news stand the other day, but the headline:  

MAN HAS SEX WITH TESCO VALUE LASAGNA

Of course we had to buy it!

There are so many thoughts and questions that a headline like that stirs up but I couldn't even try to read it on the street because I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face and the newspaper was shaking violently in my hands.

I think the key word in the headline is "value" - He didn't go for one of the premium ready meals but instead was looking for the cheapest date possible - 95p.

Once home we were treated to the story on page 5.

Usually the victim of such a crime would be kept anonymous but here is the poor violated lasagna out on display for all of us to judge.  I know ready meals are easy but this is taking it too far.  

Our hero, Vince, makes it very clear that not one of the grocery employees that he encountered on his shopping trip warned him about having sex with a piping hot lasagna.  As if the check out woman should be scanning our groceries and adding advice for each - "A small child could choke on these raisins.  (beep) This milk is near the sell by date.  (beep)  Don't have intercourse with this lasagna after heating.  (beep)…."

The entire newspaper was so full of sex and silliness that Bill has proclaimed that this is NOT REAL!? (booooo! Next he'll say there is no Santa?!) 

 I, on the other hand, would like to think that somewhere in England Vince is plotting his legal strategy to take Tesco down with a single bellend.

The Last Dinner with Fifi - Let's not wait until we are 83 for the next one!

We met Fiona for dinner - this will be the last one before she heads back to Afghanistan.  It's been so fun to have her in town and to spend so much time with her after a 35 year drought.  

She was staying at the Sherlock Holmes.  I thought it would be cheesier looking based on the name but it actually seemed quite nice.

It had a wide range of clientele.  When this person walked in Fiona and I were convinced it was a man. Wouldn't a woman realize that hat was for a spring day at Ascot, not for a rainy October night in the city??

Bill set us straight and explained she was a prostitute.  I didn't ask for his credentials on this but figured I would just accept his answer and move on.

Making sure we know the way to the restaurant….

Clowning with breadsticks.

This was not one of my finer photos but I love the look on Fi's face too much to not post it.  That woman has some intense looks!!

Our farewell photo shoot.  First a nice one...

Then death by umbrella and 35 years of pent up hostility.

Why wear a hat if you aren't going to toss it in the air a la Mary Tyler Moore?

I'm going to make it after all!!

The Americans Take on Quiz Night

It was US vs UK last night at the Vic.  Weak Sauce was made up of Fiona, Sandy, Jen and Bill.  Orchestra was Mike, Kat, Jerry and Jules.  

We sat at the same table but did not cheat.

Despite help later in the night from Ann Maria and John, we lost.

But let's start at the beginning. 

Bill brought Woodman.  

Woodman was very popular.  Everyone around us was snapping pictures.  The folks in this picture went as far as calling their quiz team "Anita Beaver".

It's been a few weeks since we've seen Ann Maria!!!  We've missed her!!

Early in the quiz the mic died - luckily they had batteries on hand.  It's half term so Chris was away with the family and Hugh was stepping in.

A table of two teams.

Jerry can't deny it.  He loves the beaver.

Are you ready for quiz questions?

What was the name of the hurricane that hit the UK last week?

Scientists have discovered that the microbrachius dicki is the first fish to do what?

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge announced that their new baby is due in what month?

What are 5 anagrams of Ripest?

Who was the longest serving first lady of the US?

What song by Glen Campbell hit #4 in 1975?

Who had the alter ego Ziggy Stardust?

What color are the G's in google?

In the nursery rhyme, who kissed the girls and made them cry?

What is a scrivener?

The answers are near the bottom of the post.  In the meantime, enjoy these photos of us at the pub and Woodman entertaining the punters.

Mike was pulled outside for the jackpot question.  He didn't get it (I forget what it even was) but it was only worth 10 pounds after Bill's big win last week.

I love this picture of John having a drink and telling his troubles to the beaver.

I just realized that there aren't many pictures of Jules in this post.  But here are her funky tights.

Quiz Answers:

What was the name of the hurricane that hit the UK last week?  Gonzalo

Scientists have discovered that the microbrachius dicki is the first fish to do what? Have sex

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge announced that their new baby is due in what month? April

What are 5 anagrams of Ripest?

Stripe, Tripes, Priest, Sprite, Esprit

Who was the longest serving first lady of the US? Eleanor Roosevelt

What song by Glen Campbell hit #4 in 1975? Rhinestone Cowboy

Who had the alter ego Ziggy Stardust?  David Bowie

What color are the G's in google?  Blue

In the nursery rhyme, who kissed the girls and made them cry? Georgie Porgie

What is a scrivener?

Scrivener is the question that put us in last place from the wipe out round. We said a scribe.  They said someone who copies legal documents.  When I google it now - the first answer is scribe.  But I guess the quiz master gets the ultimate decision and last night it did not fall in our favor.

Everyone look like Woodman!!  Oops Jerry didn't do it….

Take 2.

We ended the night with a little can can.

The flat is a little lonelier this morning.  Sandy had to leave at 4:15 AM to catch a flight to Dublin. It was so fun having her here.

We will miss you, Sandy but enjoy the rest of your adventures!!!

Another Night at the Vic

No food in the fridge plus friends in town equals another night at the Victoria.

Frankly, most of our conversation was not suitable for the blog.  But I did learn the expression "Rusty Trombone".  (Didi, search in Urban Dictionary.  Mom, be happy I didn't know what it was.)

Have I mentioned how fun it is to have these two gals in town?  

Tuesday night they join Weak Sauce for an All American quiz night team! (We will lose.)

Crazy Sunday Homies

We turned our clocks back in the wee hours this weekend.  Nice to get an extra hour of sleep  after our Saturday night out.

Sandy went sightseeing so Bill and I finally got our act together for lunch at our favorite Mexican spot Crazy Homies.

Mr. Dibley loves a mexican cocktail and a taco salad.

Bill enjoys all the art work.

Bill was the best dressed homie.

We stuffed ourselves.  Then hit the road to Portobello.

Name the famous faces!

What do they all have in common?

Love this sign on a tattoo parlor window.

What is it about black and white that makes photos look more interesting and professional?

Love this shot of Bill - he actually looks sort of dangerous!!  
Don't mess with my smokin' homie.