Happy voting, my American friends and family. It's a little late in the game but I'm running for President. I think I can have a Ross Perot-like affect on the election if you rally behind me.
My campaign is centered around the following:
* I like cigars. I think the anti smoking campaign has gone way off kilter. I'll bring it back to the days when you could spark up during a staff meeting with a nice whiskey and joke about the executive who was sleeping with his secretary. I miss those days of innocence.
* I also like spiders. Don't kill spiders. They eat the bad bugs.
* I think a merger between the US and Britain would be good. At the very least I propose that we pick up some of their fun words.
* I would start a jobs campaign that put my kids to work.
* In my Presidency I would set an example by not working every day. People need a day or two off during the week to hang around in their sweat pants and watch Arrested Development reruns.
* Fletch would be my VP. He really wants to be a VP and deserves a chance. I'd spend most days picking up
(As I typed this I was wondering why my cigar smelled like a camp fire. I left the label on the cigar and it was burning)
Write me into your ballot, please.
1 comment:
You've got my vote although as soon as we win I will be working on a plan to overthrow you.
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