Smoke 'em if you got 'em

Trudi asked Bill what he wants for his 50th birthday. The answer? A little weed with his mother. Seriously. Legend has it that Bill has been waiting for 50 to smoke pot and now he wants to make it a family affair. Here are three generations of soon to be stoners. Break out the Bob Marley and the snacks - the MacKays are getting high.

We like Mike

From the Urban Dictionary:

Mike

What you believe to be the average guy. But beneath this quiet boy, beyond what the eye can see, there lies a hero inside. One that if you get to know, can show you love, make you laugh, and give you a great time that no one else can do. Because Mike makes sure he does not become one person but is always evolving to connect to the one person he wants to share the moment with. Mike is a friend like no other, always putting himself second. Mike is only great because of the people around him, without those who make him great, he is nothing. He tries his hardest to make You happy. He gets down just like everyone else, but he always must make sure everyone around him is happy first. therefore, he makes a great party favor. A Mike will save the world. "Mike will listen, I always know he always will". "Hey invite mike!"

Alternative definition from the Urban Dictionary:

mike
	the coolest kid you will ever meet, he also has a fairly large dick. he is liked by everyone

DVD recommendation Monday

I've been watching Flipping Out on DVD from our library. It's a show about this guy Jeff in LA who flips houses (with the real estate bust he's resorted to going back to his decorating roots). He's OCD and a bit of a dick.

I think Mother Entwistle would like this show, actually.

I'd like it even better if Jen were on it. She could play the new assistant who he orders around and tells her how to do things. Jen would out-OCD Jeff which would impress him. Alas, Jen would get fired like the rest of them after she refused to pick up the dog's poo.

Crisis on Wisteria Lane

Jennie did not let the guy blowing into the Merrimack distract her from looking cute for a photo.

Meanwhile, I spoke too soon about the storm being all hype. My beautiful wisteria ripped the downspout off the house. I had to cut up my favorite little tree.

Sitting in the rain and wind contemplating my loss......

Beach Boys (and girl)

Malikai and Wyatte joined us for the afternoon today. We brought them to the beach to tire them out. As usual it worked in reverse. Jen and I can barely keep our eyes open tonight. Which is fine because we need to get our rest so we can pump the water out of our basement all day tomorrow.

(I know this will constitute as a jinx, but I think by the time Irene reaches us it will be a pretty little tropical storm, over hyped to the point of monotony.)

Come on Irene

Bill and I are slowly preparing for the impending hurricane. His solution for the patio table & chairs - - tying them to the tree. It looks like they are being held hostage. I did the obligatory food shopping (milk! bread! water!) but I can't usually think of what food to buy on a good day. What is the appropriate menu for a hurricane??? Please tell me what foods to buy in the comments and I can make another trip tomorrow.

End of the Season

As they say at Rydell High, "If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter!" So I went to cheer the Tigers in their first, and unfortunately last, game of the playoff season. Traffic kept me from the first half of the game but I did get to see Bill at bat twice. He was clearly the heart of the team, cheering on his mates, keeping cadence on the number of outs while in the field and making sure that everyone got their atta-boys. It was nice to see Bill in his ball playing persona.

And then there was the after party. I went home so Bill could go to Tiger's house (strangely, one of his Tiger team mates is called Tiger!) and when it came time to blog about it I found these pictures on our camera. Doesn't Bill know that what happens at Tiger's, stays at Tigers??

it's like a Monday

nothing going on tonight ... result is one of our ridiculous photo booth pictures.

because our fans have been asking for it I'm reposting a pic from my overwhelmingly successful "Sink Series".

The Algonquin Round Table Meeting at Not Your Average Joe's

Bookclub night! We decided to mix it up this month - not only did we meet in a restaurant but we didn't all read the same book. We had a free form Summer reading month. Bill implied that we were cheating in some way this month but I set him straight with the explanation that this format was called a "Salon". Sounds so intellectual. And I can assure you - it was.

When it comes time to pick the next book we always struggle - often taking more time to pick it than we do to discuss it! This month we left the selection up to chance...and our waitress who was asked to just pick up one of three books on the table. (She chose my nomination, Brooklyn by Colm Toibin).

Not a rule breaker

I'm keeping up with our commitment to get to the beach every day. (It's not really a true commitment. Jen makes declarations like "Why haven't we been going to the beach?! We are going to the beach every day!)

As you can see from the picture of my car, I was the last person at the beach.

Therefore, there was no one to stop me from illegally stepping on the fragile dune. And no one to stop me from crossing over the line protecting the damn piping plovers.

Alas, I am not that morally flexible and couldn't do it.

Paradise Found (well, not quite, but not too shabby)

Today is a shining example of how being Newburyport snobs has sheltered us. We've shunned all New Hampshire destinations in between NBPT and Portsmouth, NH. Our belief is that it only contained the bizarre and scary. We've been under the impression that it was all just like Seebrook, where a redneck could obtain porn, fireworks, tattoos and fireworks in a one stop white trash binge.

Au contraire.

We found Rye, New Hampshire today. Fun. Pretty. Rich mansions.

Who knew?

Jen enjoying her Jengria at Ray's Seafood.

Then we rode old Route 1 back to Newburyport through Hampton. Hampton Beach is another place we've mistakenly labeled. It is certainly a freak show. But a fun freak show we plan on returning to.

Of course there is no place like home, so we capped our excursion with tea on our deck and a movie tonight at The Screening Room.

Saturday, in the Park

We had a lovely Saturday. We had a funny little picnic with Joey at Atkinson Park. We ran into a former neighbor who had moved out when his girlfriend kicked him out because he was not paying rent. He then was arrested for punching a police officer and ended up spending a year in jail. He's out now and apparently plans weddings. He was in the middle of planning a cute little ceremony.

After eating sandwiches from Jen's favorite cheese shop I had a cigar, Jennie finished a book and Joey wrote camp stories in his journal.

Later we went to Plum Island where Jennie and I walked the beach for the first time in a long time. We miss the beach. The picture above shows Jen washing her feet in the sink. She's like an infant.

The day ended with a scallop dinner from Bob Lobster while watching The Verdict.

As I said, a lovely Saturday.

Found this picture from a couple years ago. Once is quirky. Twice is a bad habit.

Little Miss Muffett

It's a typical Friday night....Joey is driving Lauren home, I have a headache from trying not to cry at the season 4 finale of Friday Night Lights (Riggins turned himself in to the police?! Must get season 5 asap!!!) and Bill is passed out from his night of bourbon on the roof. It's late, I need aspirin and I'm goin' to bed. Our first picture-less post.

PS I felt something tickle my neck earlier today and after much flailing a spider fell out of my dress!! I think I used every swear word I know. Too bad we didn't get a picture of me then.

Inconceivable!

I was informed tonight that one third of the Nbpt Period Piece Society is going without wine and dairy for 30 days and the other third - who already goes without wine - is going to give up dairy as of this weekend. WTF??? This is the whole point of the the society!! The period pieces are just a vehicle, something to entertain us while we gorge ourselves like Romans.

Fortunately, husband of one third of the society has not given up wine or cheese. I'm thinking of asking him to start the Nbpt Nerd Movie Society. We can watch endless hours of Dr Who and quote The Princess Bride while we get drunk and fat.

Homework

I'm working tonight. I'm watching The Saint of 9/11 (about a gay NYC fire department chaplain who was killed at the World Trade Center) to preview it for a diversity event at work. Here's the punch line - I'm one of the people viewing it to make sure that it's not offensive - as if I would recognize offensive if it bit me in the ass.

He said, she said

I love you like a whale loves his spout, he said.

Then why didn't you buy me Legless Sherman, she said.

Joey contemplates our newly acquired vintage bureau. "How would this look with filled with Doritos", Joey wonders.

I like the word "vintage". It implies a certain costliness. It's a pretentious word, no doubt.

In actuality this bureau was purchased at the cheap antique shop in Essex. Not one that you need an appointment to see, but one that sells little mannequins with no legs (see Saturday's post). Nonetheless it's very functional. For the first time in many months we can watch television without the bar of the bed frame across the screen.

The winner and still champion.....

Sunday night at the fights. We had chicken sandwiches and watched The Fighter.

After the movie we were so amped up that we slugged it out.

Let's put it this way, there was no man standing at the end....

And this is why we shouldn't go antiquing

Say hello to Sherman - our new roommate. We found him on the third floor of a store piled high with Victorian dressers and old filing cabinets. Who could resist his little lipstick red mouth or shredded legs? Perhaps he was working with a ventriloquist in Laos who stepped on a land mine?

Just kidding!! Sherman did not end up at 11 Atwood, tempting as he was.

We started the day with steamers overlooking the Essex River and spent the afternoon poking around antique/junk stores without finding any little treasures. I think I'm at the age where looking is 99% of the fun (1% is still wishing I had a little treasure).

crisis

Pizza Factory is dicking with us........ after a decade of Friday night pizza; thousands of dollars spent there... we are officially angry. The pizza the last few weeks has sucked.

Our secondary choice, Nicks, is now our first choice.

Joey, who we've brought up on Pizza Factory, will be very upset. The right thing to do would be wait until September 20th, when Joey goes to UW, and then change to Nicks.....

Safe, but are any of us really?

My hammy was barking tonight, so when I stretched a single to a double I was moving slower than Big Papi. I can't figure out how a slide while barely moving forward could produce this raspberry.

We lost an ugly one tonight. If I had scooped my brothers one hopper to first after he made a great diving stop, we win the game. Instead I couldn't hang on, they score three more and win by two.

I deserve to bleed a little after letting that one get away.

Welcome Wagon

Back in April at the lit festival I brought home this sign after packing up one of the venues. I've been meaning to return it to the book store but we've been having too much fun with it. If Mr. Allison decides to drop by - we're ready for him!

I was going to do more shots of all the places we welcome Robert Allison to...but the camera battery was dying so I only got two shots. Its unfortunate that as soon as we wooed Aaron back to the blog we post something that rivals the "sink series" in banality.

On a side note - the duvet cover pictured is also owned by Laura and Stacey!

Come back to the blog!!!

Aaron confessed at dinner tonight that he no longer reads our blog. Once our only follower, Aaron felt edged out when the comment section started to get popular. Whitney then said, "Well, your year ended - are you still doing it?" Obviously she doesn't have us bookmarked for a diversion during long, boring con calls.

So this is our pitch to win them back - a starring role in the latest post looking happy after a meal of tapas at the trendy Tico. Daisy even made a special guest appearance. How could you not want to read this every day?

Public Enemy #1

10 Atwood is on the post office sh*t list. I came home today to find a hand written note on our mail.

My assumption is that this is the mail person's request but I guess I can't be sure. Truthfully, the grass has gotten very unruly so I gave it a haircut. I should have known it was becoming a problem when Christin and Denise came for the Period Piece Society night saying "Dr. Livingston I presume?"

The Albany Reading Room

The Entwistle gals love a good read. Sunday morning breakfast was spent with our noses in books on the couch. We can do this for hours. We did stop reading for a few moments to talk about BBC movies...that was when Bill had to leave the room. There is only so much Entwistle he can handle.

you can't choose your family

We were without internet access at Hotel Ratwistle, so no post last night.

But we had much to post about.

Danielle and A.J. were in Albany for the week. They live in Missouri where A.J. is stationed at Fort Leonard Wood. So Jennie and I made the trek south to see the family.

Heather now plans where we go for dinner. Mother Entwistle lost the privilege after too many Chinese buffets.

Heather had her new gentleman friend, Dave, choose a cool brew pub. Dave chose wisely and fit in well.

Mother has never touched beer but posed with me.

Danielle and I have never met. We both thought each other were a carefully calculated ruse. "Bill couldn't make it this trip..." Sure, there is no Bill, Danielle thought. Jen is alone and embarrassed. Wrong, Danielle. Jen is married and embarrassed!

When it comes to slack jaw photos, nobody bests Mother Entwistle. She's a master.

The evening winded down with Jennie and A.J. playing with rat puppets and speaking in cockney accents. The usual family get together fun. I think Norman Rockwell had several painting depicting this American tradition.

After rat play we played a game of Skittles (bowling using a wooden top). I dethroned Jennie as champ, but she cried foul because I had several misfires where I almost destroyed the board after my top didn't spin. Sour grapes, I say.

As in-laws go, this group of odd balls are pretty fun.

xxxooo

Amateur Theatre

We have a book titled "In Character". Actors are told about different scenarios and have to act them out for the camera.

I was just told by Simon that my version of the Sunflower Song was not good enough to be chosen as a contestant for American Idol

Simon has retired from American Idol. This gave Bill another shot at the show. He nailed it this time and was given a slot on American Idol season 10.

We watched Out of Sight tonight. Jen told me she loves Clooney. I'm angry.